“So I was at a party once and this random chick came up to me and was all, Wow! You’re so buff, you should get a tattoo on that bicep. To which I responded, would you put a bumper sticker on a Porsche? She just stared at me for five seconds and I was all, Yeah, exactly. And walked away from that dumb bitch while her mouth was still hanging open…”—Reasons why Narbeh is my hero.